Thursday, October 29, 2009

NO MEANS NO!!!

Okay, I have to share what happened to me yesterday because I am still shook up over it all. Well, I had my very last OB appointment. It was my pre-op appointment since I am having my baby by c-section.

After I visited with the doctor, I had to meet with their surgery scheduler to go over the details and sign the final consent forms. So, she hands me the consent form to sign and says real fast and casual like, " this is the consent giving us permission to perform your ceserean and goes over the risks...you've sign these before." Then hands me a pen and shows me where to sign.

I sign the paper without really reading it..because YES, I have done this several times. Then she hands me my copy and as I am waiting for her to do something on the computer, I look down. On the paper clear as day it says, " Permission to perform a repeat ceserean AND tubal ligation!!!!!!!!
What the HECK?????

Let me just say that wiht my last son I had to repeatedly tell my doctor that I DID NOT want my tubes tied. I thought I made that VERY clear. With this baby, when I had my very first appointment and had to meet with the nurse she said it was in my chart that I wanted a tubal. That made me so mad and I asked her to have that removed. So then...(I am not kidding you) almost EVERY time I have seen my doctor he has asked me if I want my tubes tied. I have repeatedly told him NO every time. In fact, last month I told him to please write in my chart that I do not EVER want my tubes tied.

You would think that was enough for him to REMEMBER my wishes, right?? But at my appointment yesterday HE ASKED AGAIN!!! I told him no again. So you can imagine my outrage in seeing that someone had wrote to tie my tubes on the consent form. Not to mention..he signed to approve it and then I stupidly signed not reading it.

I can't even imagine...I am SO very thankful I caught that. Now I am all nervous though. I feel like I should write in permanent marker across my belly... DO NOT TIE TUBES!!!!!

I feel like someone is trying to conspire against me and force me into sterilization! :-(
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22 comments:

Julie said...

Wow! That is scary! I would be sooo freaked out. Will your husband be there to make sure they don't do anything they're not supposed to?

Jenny said...

How aggravating! Not to get political, but if our medical system becomes socialized, you won't have a choice in the matter! We will just have to do whatever they tell us.

I would write it on your belly-that's not a bad idea!
All the best-I hope it goes well!
Come visit my blog at http://sidac.blogspot.com and follow me if you like!

HappilyDomestic said...

Julie,
Yes, my husband will be there and I will be having a very serious conversation with my OB about this when I see him next Thursday morning!

Jenny,
That is when I will become a Canadian. :-)

Chari said...

WOW. The only thing I can think of is that he doesn't want the risk of doing another c-section on you and this is his way around it and not having to talk to you about it. So did you get a copy of a paper you signed that says you are NOT getting it?? I hope you did seeing how he is! Scary!

My doctor kept asking me about reserving my epidural every visit when it was in my chart I already had! Good grief! I'm not going back to her either!!

Lindsey said...

That would totally piss me off too. I hope you give your dr a piece of your mind when you see him next.
Good luck!
www.mcaulayfamily.blogspot.com

HappilyDomestic said...

Chari,
Well, he has told me that I shouldn't have more then 5..and considering I am only at 4, I don't see what his deal is. He even said my uterus was in fine shape with the last baby. Makes me want to switch doctors for sure, but..most OBGYN's will tell you no more after 3 or 4 C's.

What I wish more then anything is that I could go back in time and go to a midwife with my 1st. I probably wouldn't have ended up with a cesarean and would not be in the place I am now.

How come when you wish to abort everyone's all, "It's your body..your choice" but when you want to to have babies even when it means major surgery...they think they can tell you when to stop??? Isn't it "My body..my choice?" I am not stupid, I am not going to keep going until it kills me...but I should have that option.

Oh ans YES..I got a copy of the paper. I had the lady make sure it was not written anywhere in my chart or on their computer either.

HappilyDomestic said...

Lindsay,
I plan too, but I also don't want to tick him off before he operates on me!!!

Attila & Tamara said...

Yikes! That is crazy! I would write it on my belly!

Pray everything goes well with the c-section!

Brassy said...

Write it on your belly. When you go in for an amputation, the patient writes "NOT THIS ONE" on the limb they are keeping and things like that.

janelle said...

You should write it on your belly!! I can't believe that they're trying to force you to get your tubes tied. I hope everything goes well. I am very upset for you!

Melody said...

That's crazy and sad! And so true about "choice". Sometimes it seems as if people only want you to have a choice to do what makes them feel ok about their own decisions. Glad you caught the mistake and hope everything goes well with the birth:)

MommyMelodiya.blogspot.com

a2editor said...

I want to encourage you to listen to your instincts on this. Do you think your doctor is going to respect your rights and wishes or not? If so, be sure to very clearly communicate your wishes. If not, get the heck out of there, even at this stage of the game! I hate to upset you, but if your doctor is that determined to tie your tubes, you should go elsewhere even now! That is either gross incompetence or gross disregard of your wishes and rights, and in either situation I wouldn't EVER let that doctor put a finger on me.

My doctor started saying things late in my pregnancy that freaked me out a bit (nothing like that though!), and--after a lot of anxiety and crying--I hired a midwife and had a homebirth. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't I would have ended up with a c-section, the way things were going, and I'm SO pleased at how things turned out. People say it was brave, but I was just making the best choice I could to protect my baby and protect myself. Good luck, and listen to your instincts about what the best thing to do is. Don't do anything just because you're expected to!

Laura

Tamara said...

Wow! I totally agree with writing on your belly. I would! So, what's the deal with having kids after c-section? Doctors don't want you to have kids at all? or just by c-section? I haven't heard this. I've only had one baby and she was a c-section. The only thing my doctor advised was to wait at least 2 years before getting pregnant again...

Moya said...

It sounds like your Dr. is not planning to respect your rights or wishes. I would definately be upset as well. And I would write on my belly too!

The Jacobsen Family! said...

WOW. Good grief, it's not like you have 10 kids or anything! Even then, it's your choice! I'm with the other ladies... Write it on there. Not just to be sure it doesn't happen, but to make a point too! I'm worried for you... Can't imagine if it were me.
Praying all goes well!

Chari said...

Well, as long as you have it on paper you are good to go, you've CYA. He would have a major lawsuit on his hands if he went ahead with it.

Mama Kalila said...

Wow... I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm upset just hearing that he'd pull that!

Sheri said...

I don't think your doc can be trusted at this point. He is clearly NOT listening to you. It isn't too late to go elsewhere. I think that he is just adding stress to your birth experience that you don't need. I would tell him that.

Amanda said...

Totally write it on your belly!! Then you can look back and laugh at this. (because it's not very funny right now!) I would also think about getting a new dr. Maybe one with a smaller practice.

Yara said...

Crazy crazy crazy!
And this is coming from someone who asked a doctor "well why didn't you tie my tubes while you were in there???" after my last c/s (emergency, ruptured uterus on the table is why I asked him)
But I'd totally write on my belly if I were you.
And have your dh stand there & tell them do NOT tie her tubes.
I know its not something you're really thinking about in the o/r, but I guess you should be.
Yikes!
Hope everything goes well for your birth & they do not tie your tubes!

Stephanie said...

MAKE SURE YOU REMIND THEM ON THE OPERATING TABLE! One of my diaperswappers friends was charged for a tubal after her CS...but they assure her they never did one.

glenda09 said...

I know how you feel.. My Dr almost everytime I saw her asked me and I always told her no. Not only that but the Dr that did my csec (mine was out of town) kept asking me along with the nurses EVEN the anasthesiologist!!!!! She did say that my uterus ripped and then said (while doing my csec) I dont know what would happen to you if you got pregnant again...So do you want to get the tubal? Again NO

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