Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Trying to find the balance in life

Today I had a particularly stressful day. Nothing "bad" in particular happened, it was just one of those appointment filled, too much to do, and feeling tired on top it all kind of days. I am finding myself feeling more and more behind on all that needs to be done and do not like the feeling one bit.

I am my worst critic. I don't expect myself to be super mom and have everything perfect all the time but feel somewhat like a failure when I can't seem to keep my house clean ever or when I feel as though I have worked hard all day and accomplished nothing. Do any of you feel this way?

I am only one person and can only do so much. Though I would like to think I can be stretched in 90 different directions, I know this is not reality. Sometimes what we think we can do and what we really can do are two different things. I often time take on too much.

Sometimes in life we have to sit down and prioritize to save our sanity. After my two week trip to Washington I realized how much I have been missing out on my family. Yes, I know I home school and am with my children almost 24 hours a day, but I am also very busy most of the time. Having 4 children and homeschooling is a lot of work. It takes setting aside special time to have that one on one time my children need. If I don't do this we all get caught up in the regular daily tasks and miss out on sharing our lives together.

Realizing that I haven't been making the efforts I need to in order to build relationship with my children, my husband, and most importantly my God and Saviour and realizing my priorities have been somewhat upside down, I have asked my husband to put a password on our computer. This way I can only go on when my husband is home. This helps so much because I tend to not get on the computer until my children are in bed when we have it set up this way.

I need to be focusing on my family throughout the day. My job as Mama takes top priority and I do not need anything distracting me from it. I am not writing this to say I am giving up on my blog or anything but rather that I am trying to find the balance between wants and needs and trying to prioritize what I have time for each day.

In saying this, I wanted you all to know in case you were wondering why I have not been blogging as much or why I haven't been visiting as many of your blogs. I just can't do it all. I still plan to blog about my Washington trip and share my pictures from it. As far as my Project 365 goes...I am going to let that go. It seemed like such a fun idea in the beginning but the reality is that I do not have time to blog every single day and I don't need one more thing to make me feel behind or pressured. It's not as easy to remember to take a picture everyday after all.

I hope that you all can understand where I am coming from. I love blogging, it is a blast and I want to continue it but as with anything else we do for "fun" we need balance and must set limits as to how much time we dedicate to things that pull us away from what is truly important. I hope that you all continue to visit my blog, enter my giveaways, leave comments and all that good stuff. I am still here, just on a lesser scale.

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Mindy said...

I saw the title of your post and it totally echoed how I've felt this week. I am overwhelmed. There is too much to do. I am not quite sure what to let go. I love blogging as well. And writing for a local paper. And having my own business. But it all requires lots of computer time. I need to figure that out as well...although living so far from my family, I don't think I could manage 0 computer time during the day. :0) Best of luck in finding balance!

Sarah said...

We all understand Beth. I think many bloggers feel the same way. I know I feel like I'm taking time away from my family too. My house isn't always clean and I feel behind all the time! Good for you for setting priorities and sticking to it. We'll all still visit your blog!

glenda09 said...

We all understand.. Im sure we all have kids and husbands of our own and have been there at one point or another :)

Chari said...

I have been feeling this way for a long time.....I have a post coming soon about the same issue.

I hope you find the balance you are looking for.

Tamara said...

Certainly no judgement here! You gotta do what you gotta do. I'm a firm believer in making one's life less stressful!! Good for you! You'll be a better mom and wife for it!

Christa said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I can only imagine what it would be like with a bigger blog or more kids!

Campos Family said...

Im new to your blog... and blogging as a whole for that matter. But, I understand how you feel. I have a husband, 3 kids and a dog... I'm so stretched I often feel like I got nothing accomplished even though I was on the go most of the day! Sometimes it's really stressful when there isn't enough time to do everything you would like. Go enjoy your family and I commend you for sticking to your priorities! :)

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