Wednesday, February 9, 2011

What's With the Word "Submit" And Why is it the Wife's Job?

This question has been on my mind ever since I feel head over heals in love with Josh. I've always been a Christian and so has he, but I didn't have a very good example of a submissive wife to go by. To make matters worse, I had a horrible father figure as well, so my view of Christian marriage was completely warped.

In fact, I became a "feminist" and vowed never to marry. I was not going to let some lazy man dictate how I lived my life and ruin it. (See what I mean about warped?)

Thankfully, I am a reader. If an author is well studied in scripture I will respect it and study the Bible to double check what they are saying. So when I fell in love with Josh I wanted to read as many Christian marriage books as I could to make sure I really wanted to get married and be the wife God wants me to be.

You know what I found?

A submissive wife supports her husband, respects him, and helps him be all God called him to be.

1 Corinthians 11:3: "But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

You've heard that saying, "Behind every strong man is an even stronger woman." It is so true! Think of it this way too - beautiful, gorgeous pillars that hold up a building. Take away those pillars and that building is useless, falling to the ground. Be his support system, don't tear him down or tell him how lazy/annoying/moody/useless he is. Being submissive is not a building squashing the pillar, it is the lovely pillar upholding the building and being shown off as beautiful in the process!

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

There is a book I highly recommend to every couple: Love and Respect by ***. Basically, we women thrive on love, we need it. Men need love too, but what they need and thrive on is respect. Admire him, build him up. Show him that even if you disagree with something he does or the way he does it, you still respect him.

Genesis 2:18 "The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Thank you to Annie for today's guest post! Annie Shultz is a cloth diapering mom blogger at
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The Headstrong Housewife! said...

The church has sorely misrepresented the word and meaning of Submission. One important thing to remember is that submission is not dependent on the husband loving his wife, b/c submission is not for the husband, it is for God. Ag great book on submission is The Politically Incorrect Wife! It is relevant for the day we live in today without degrading biblical submission.

eyeslikesugar said...

I left religion, and the misogynistic nature of the Bible is one of the many reasons. Don't forget 1 Timothy 2:11:

"Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." I Corinthians 14:34-35

"Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die." Eccles. 25:22

Annie said...

@Headstrong - This is Annie, the author of the post. Thanks for that book tip, I will look into it. Bible interpretation, especially with submission, is a pretty in depth topic. I tried to keep it light, but you can get into some good discussions. You are right - we must obey God more than our current circumstances. This goes beyond marriage and can be applied to any circumstance - jobs, voting, any decision you make should follow God's leading.

@Eyes - I can tell from your quoting scripture that at one time you believed, or were at least involved in a church. If you want to talk further about the Bible you can email me annie.shultz(at) - but if you don't want to talk we can just agree to disagree. I realize beliefs like this are very personal :)

The Headstrong Housewife! said...

@eyes, many people misinterpret scripture to mean what they want it to mean. I would love to share with you what I believe those scriptures to mean if you would like (I think you would be quite surprised) You can email me at everyday_house_wife @ yahoo . com

Southern Belle said...

Beautifully written post Annie. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us today. = )

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