Last week we attended our first meeting. Two other moms and their children were there and everyone seemed to be having a good time. My girls were having fun and thanked me for bring them. We had worked on embroidery together and chatted as we worked. Didn't talk about anything too serious... mainly sewing, cloth diapering, homeschool, stuff like that. After we sewed the kids had a snack and then went out back to play. I chatted with the other two moms for probably a good hour or so. Again, we didn't touch on any touchy subjects such as religion or politics, just had conversations about couponing, our husband's jobs, etc. We left all in good standing and I thought the day was a success.
This morning I opened my email to find a letter from the main woman (the one who puts this group together). Her email went along to say, " While I was looking to expand the Mother-Daughter Co-op, it is important to keep my focus narrow and not to over reach. I am looking for member families who would be the right fit for the co-op as a whole as well as a good fit with other member families who are already a part of this activity."and "We want to be able to fulfil the needs and desires of the ladies involved in this co-op and I'm thinking that we just may not be able to offer you a format that would allow you to excel and grow in your walk with the LORD."
Wow! shouldn't I be the one who decides if a group is able to excel my walk with the Lord? Is it really her right to make this call for me? Wasn't this group announced to a large homeschool community "open for all"?
I replied to this email. I am no dummy and can read between the lines. It as clear as day that an offense was taken in some way. I just can't seem to think what? I asked in my email for her to be honest with me. I feel I at least deserve an honest answer. At first I thought maybe it was because of the 14 year old girl. And how sad that would be. Doesn't the bible teach us older woman to teach the younger woman and doesn't it also tell us to help the fatherless (or motherless in this case)? I don't think it is only the girl though, I had asked for that same woman to email me info. on another coop group that exclusively does field trips and she also mentioned this in her email stating that she didn't feel I was a good "fit" for that either (even though again it was offered to anyone who wanted to attend).
I am having a hard time letting this go. I feel hurt, rejected and very confused as to what I did that was so offensive. My daughter and I were dressed modestly, we behaved ourselves in a mannerly fashion, we were friendly...I don't get it!
In all my 32 years of living, I have never experience anything like this. I no longer wish to attend the group of course, but am hurt by the whole ordeal. Why are people so confusing these days? I find it very hard to make and maintain friendships than ever before. Why can't moms be "real". Why can't we approach each other when offenses arise instead of resorting to excuses (lame ones at that) and not being honest with each other. I don't know these woman, they don't know me. I hate that I was so harshly judged on first impressions.
I just needed to get this off my chest. I had a hard day because of it and have been sad. I don't like being unliked. How do all of you deal with rejection from other moms? Would something like this bother you? I know I am a sensitive person, but clearly I am no longer welcome in this group. I think most woman would be hurt by this.
Anyway....I need some advice!