|Last Pregnancy Shot 41 1/2 weeks|
At 41 1/2 weeks labor was not coming. Each visit to my doctor brought more disappointment when she told me that no progression had been made. It didn't make any sense to my head why I was not dilating. Why wasn't my body doing what is suppose to do? It really felt like a big joke was being played on me. Here I felt certain the Lord had opened doors for this VBAC to happen and now it seemed like the door was being slammed in my face! I spent just about every day in tears. I knew I was down to the nitty gritty and the success of this VBAC all depended on me going into labor on my own.
On June 1st I went to my OB for my 2nd non-stress test. The first test had revealed that everything was okay with baby. This 2nd test showed that his amniotic fluid levels had dropped to an abnormal level. Such a big drop that my OB stressed that letting things go any further would potentially mean having my baby die. At first I wasn't sure if she was trying to use scare tactics. My husband, doula and I asked to be left alone to talk. My doula quickly got on the phone with a midwife friend of hers to ask about the fluid levels. The midwife agreed that the drop was not good, but felt I could go until Monday to see if my body would go into labor. The OB then returned and we told her we wanted to give it a few more days. She literally looked at us with tear filled eyes and said in a very serious tone..."I can't tell you what to do, but I do not think you are making the right choice. You may have a stillborn baby if you wait." We asked for a bit more time to think. I cried (a lot) and we prayed. In the end the decision was clear, why would we want to risk our child's life for this? We decided it was time to get this baby out. It obviously was not meant to be for me to give birth vaginally.
|My Doula and Hubby all dressed up for surgery|
|Baby N making his appereance|
|7 pounds 10 ounces 19 inches long|
Apparently my uterus was super thin. Like thin paper, the doctor described it. She said when she started the cut to get the baby out, my whole uterus ripped open! She was able to deliver the baby just fine, but when she went to stitch my uterus back up it would not clamp down. Meaning, there was nothing to stop the bleeding. They gave me Pitocin and Cytotec to stop the bleeding. She also put some gel stuff on my uterus to stop the bleeding as well. This wasn't the only problem though, once she started to stitch my uterus the stitches would rip right through and I would tear from side to side. She had a hard time getting the tissue to stitch and had to bring more of my uterus forward to get me stitched back up. Once I was stitched my uterus filled with blood clots! My doctor then had to put her whole hand up my vagina, stretch my cervix to a one (because I wasn't dilated) and get the blood clots out. This was the part where she said, "I hope your not feeling this." I am glad I was not feeling that either!!! Apparently, she also had to remove my bladder from where it is located in order to stitch up my uterus without damaging the bladder (this is why my doula thought something went wrong with my bladder). My bladder was not harmed at all thankfully.
I was shocked that my body was in such bad condition. With every previous c-section my uterus had been in normal condition and functioned properly. My first question was, "Does this mean I can no longer have babies?" My doctor's reply was, "we'll talk about that later." In recovery I also learned that I lost a lot of blood. I didn't need a transfusion, but was close. I was glad I did not have to get a hysterectomy, but was sad things did not go well. All in all it took over an hour for them to get me stitched back up before I could go to recovery. This is LONG for a c-section and it was hard to go so long without being able to hold my baby.
|Holding and nursing my baby for the first time|
|Meeting their brother|
I took this news rather hard. I lay in my hospital bed in tears. It didn't seem fair! Here my husband and I had his vasectomy reversed in order to have more babies and once again our fertility was being taken away from us. But then there was part of me just so thankful to be alive, so thankful my baby had made it through this delivery unharmed, thankful I have been blessed with 5 wonderful children despite having had all c-sections. I knew I had much to be thankful for, but I wasn't ready for this and it was a hard blow.
|This is how we slept most nights|
As things worsened, the pain worsened. At one point the gas pain moved to my back and chest. I felt like I couln't breath and was crying out in pain. After several days of this and not seeing any progress my doctor finally called in a surgeon. He ordered an x-ray of my belly to see what was going on. The x-ray showed that I had a Colonic Ileus. This means my entire colon stopped functioning. Only time would fix this they told me, but they would need to get aggressive with treating it as my colon was at risk for rupturing. The surgeon first prescribed a medication called Regelen (sp?). This was suppose to calm my belly and push out air. They started an IV to give me the medication and the minute the medicine went in I had a MAJOR panic attack. The nurse had left the room and I was on my back in bed with my baby in my arms. My husband had left to get our older kids and so I was all alone. I pressed the nurses button and cried out, "I need someone quick!". It seemed like forever until she got in there and I could hardly breath. I was crying out, "Help me, help me!". I felt frantic and scared and my body felt jittery. As soon as the nurse made it in I handed her the baby and had to get out of bed. I told her to get that IV out of my arm because I was never going to take that stuff again! My husband showed up soon after and said I looked like I was on drugs! Well, I was. This stuff was horrible!!! It didn't even work either. No air came out.
|Getting my IV meds|
|Snoozin in his MamaRoo at the hospital|
I have been home 4 weeks now and am doing good. My colon is 100% mended and I feel a little better each day. The first week and a half home I was SO WEAK. I felt drained and was so sore. Then one day I woke up and just felt a lot better. I haven't felt weak since then and am slowly getting back to normal. This certainly has been the longest and hardest recovery of all my c-sections yet. Seeing what I went through though it doesn't surprise me. I am also happy to announce that my milk has increased considerably (thanks to using nursing herbs and eating a normal diet) and Baby "N" has gained back his birth weight and then some. I no longer have to supplement him either. This was a huge relief to me as I was so worried I may not be able to breastfeed him. That would have been crushing to me as I know how beneficial it is to not only him, but me and I want the bonding time esp. with him being my last.
|Arriving home to family and friends|
this past month. It has been hard trying to figure things out and why they happened the way they did, but I also now see God's protection in all this. Had I done the VBAC delivery I was planning, I may not be here to type this story. I realize my life was spared a number of times. I am here and my baby is here and that is most important. I would have loved for things to have gone differently. I would have loved to been told another baby was a possibility in the future, but this is not the case.
|This was on the wall in my hospital room.|
Kind of creepy, but fitting if you look
at the fact I too have 5 babies.