Monday, March 11, 2013

Modestly Adorned - Modesty Is For Boys Too!

Modesty is a subject almost exclusively attributed to women and young girls. Today I would like to talk about the importance of teaching our young boys modesty. In a society where everything and everyone is being sexualized it is vital to our boys and their future families that we remind them of their responsibility too. Just as modesty is multifaceted for women, so it is for our young boys. It is not uncommon to see men dressing provocatively, acting provocatively and having no issue at all with looking at things they should not. Some feel that "boys will be boys" but I feel that we must "train them in the way they should go" in this regard just as we do others. We should not expect more from our young girls then we do of our young men. God says in Matthew 7:12 "Everything whatsoever you desire that people should do for you, do likewise for them, for this is the Law and The Prophets.".  Do we not tell our young women to consider her fellow brothers in Christ when she considers her words, actions and clothing so as to not cause them to stumble? Do we not also ask her to look away from immodest pictures, movies or music so as not to pervert her modest heart? Our boys should be doing the very same for their fellow sisters in Christ. So how do we do this? I know there are many of you that know much more than I... but I have been praying about this so that I can begin raising my boys in the way they should go. I believe there are a few things we can do.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us "Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it.". Our young children are not yet responsible for gaurding their hearts, we are. We must be careful what they watch, read and listen to. We must be careful of the friends we allow them to have and the wordly things we allow them to be exposed to. I have a friend who's son lowers his head when walking past Victoria's Secret in the mall. What is amazing to me is this was unprompted. He has been gaurded by his parents and when he saw the immodest and seductive display he was embarrassed. He lowered his head because his heart was modest. When we allow worldy things to come into their hearts we are allowing the enemy to steal little bits of their innocence and we are slowly showing them that modesty does not apply to them. We are telling them it is the woman's job only to keep them from stumbling.

We all know and understand that God made men to be visualy stimulated.  Often we don't really consider what young women may be feeling in this area. Women are not as visual as men but we are human and we were created to enjoy the male body. Our society is not just telling women that their value comes from their looks. Now more then ever men are being pressured to look and dress in a sexy way. It seems to me that boys aren't just swimming in swim trunks and no shirt. They are swimming in tight, low cut trunks that show much more than we need to see. They are tanning and waxing and preaning and trying to get attention in the same way we teach our young women not to. We must hold our young boys to a standard just as we do our young girls. This will be just as diverse as it is for young women, but it is important to decide what is appropriate and what is not. We must also ask them "Are you dressing attractively or to attract?".

Teaching a boy modesty is helping him to honor himself and his future wife. We are teaching him that his body is sacred and special too. Their bodies belong to their future wives and she deserves to have all of her husband just as her husband deserves to have all of her.

How do you teach your boys modesty? Do you think it is important? Why or why not?

Written By Happily Domestic Contributor: Brittney Thompson
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7 comments:

Lori said...

Excellent post. I'm so thankful you are the mother of my beautiful grandsons. Well done!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, amen to that! As an 18-year-old young woman, I have considered the fact that "often [others] don't really consider what young women may be feeling in this area." When I see a guy with a toned, tanned body who is parading around on the beach or by the poolside with his shirt off, it is hard for me. It is a struggle. I have self-control and standards in the way I dress, and I wish that young men would do the same. Thank you for writing this!

Martain said...

I have been a camp counselor, and involved in camp work for over 30 years now, and I have watched the issue of modesty become more and more of a problem over the years. As I work with the boys, I try to instill in them these same ideas. As you have pointed out, most of them point to the girls when it comes to modesty issues, but it goes both ways. I also point out the fact that how they treat a young lady can have a big effect on how they dress. If the boys are paying attention to the girls who dress provocatively, and basically ignore the girls who dress modestly, they are sending a message that a girl needs to dress in a provocative way to get any attention.

Brittney Thompson said...

Anonymous,

Thank you for commenting and sharing that with us. It is so important that boys remember that we deserve that respect as well!

Brittney Thompson said...

Martin,

Thank you for commenting! I appreciate your insight. I agree, as women we have a great desire to be pleasing. We have to teach boys to treat women with dignity and respect regardless of the way they dress. All women want to be seen as valueable and often will do whatever it takes to get that validation.

Lindsey said...

I loved this post! This is a very important subject to talk about and bring attention to. Thank you for linking up at Tending The Home Tuesdays! I am going to feature your post in my Weekly WRap up tomorrow on Road to 31.

Leanne said...

yes! I do not let them go bare chested unless its incredibly hot at the indoor pool we visit. I make them wear a shirt with a color each day to school. They have to tuck in their shirts and wear belts...we do not wear "graphic" clothing with skulls or "gang type" logos. I've already begun talking about tatoos and piercings... their father is a great example!
I wish more people would teach young boys how to dress appropriately! and neatly!

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